Friday, August 3, 2012

Contest Entry

Here is my entry into the contest over at Nachos Grande:

Let's see how Cynthia's life progressed:

Age 17. Occupation Student.  Notes: Head Cheerleader.  Grades suffering due to trauma over boyfriend's dad's murder - She has a thing for middle aged balding men and her secret fantasy would now never be fulfilled.  D average.  With Lennie out of the picture, Jack gets the boot.  Daddy comes home to reunite with Mommy but almost instantly abuse ensues.

Age 18. Occupation Exotic Dancer.  Notes: Unable to graduate from high school.  In typical fashion, this uneducated girl with Daddy issues turns to a life on the pole.  Working at Scores under the stage name Detroit. Dresses in slinky tiger outfit on stage. Still drawn to the balding, middle aged men.

Age 24. Occupation Unemployed.  Notes: Washed up stripper at age 24.  Tried hand as dance instructor but recognized there wasn't too big a market for pole lessons. Fresh off a failed relationship with an older man. She felt the downspout salesman would be a perfect substitute to finally overcome the tragic loss of the love of her life Lennie.  Didn't work and she has no direction in life.

Age 30. Occupation Housewife.  Notes: A couple years back, after battling addiction, Cynthia finds religion and the man of her dreams outside her AA meeting.  Squiggy reminds her so much of Lennie and she is finally at a happy spot.  Squiggy is the same age as Lennie at the time of his passing and has the same hairline.  He is however, a much more successful salesman and treats her like a princess.

Age 35. Occupation Housewife and Avid Giants Fan.  Notes:  Squiggy wins season tickets to AT&T Park as a sales promotion and Cynthia falls in love with baseball and the home team.  She thinks back fondly to her cheerleading days and becomes a huge supporter of the home team.

Age 55.  Occupation Ball Dudette.  Note:  After 20 years of holding season tickets and witnessing 8 World Championships from her beloved Giants, Cynthia moves out into the field and shags foul balls for her favorite team.  During inter-league play, when Miguel Cabrera comes to town, her fellow Ball Dudes and Dudettes are puzzled by the sultry smile and distracted demeanor, she can't help but reflect back on her former life.


  1. waitaminute...

    8 world championships???? now THAT'S good comedy writing.

  2. As I always say. If youre gonna dream, dream BIG!!

  3. Laverne and Shirley references will get a vote from me. :-)